Why you, as a trainer, are your own instrument

Why anecdotes and storytelling work

Do you ever use anecdotes or storytelling during a training session? It feels like the right thing to do, but why is that actually the case? This is a question I often ask my trainees when introducing this topic.

Below are some of the answers I hear most often:

As trainers, we use anecdotes and stories to make a point. A well-chosen story helps draw a clear conclusion that supports the message we want to convey and gives us something we can easily refer back to later.

We use them to hold people’s attention. For thousands of years, storytelling has been one of the most powerful ways humans learn. Stories activate the brain, and stepping into a narrative triggers the release of oxytocin, a neurotransmitter that strengthens feelings of connection, increases empathy, and makes people more receptive to what is being shared.

They also help us relax as trainers. When you tell your own story, you are far less likely to lose your train of thought. After all, it is a story you know by heart.

A reason mentioned less often, but just as important, is that storytelling allows you to show who you are as a trainer. Many highly skilled trainers reveal very little of themselves, which is a missed opportunity. Showing what you stand for and how you see the world can add a valuable extra layer to your content. This is not about feeding your ego, but about creating genuine connection with your trainees. Self-glorification usually has the opposite effect and is therefore something to avoid.

In search of your personality

During a typical introduction, people are often asked about their hobbies, an accessible way to get to know each other. You might argue that hobbies or pastimes are rather superficial aspects of someone’s personality, but nothing could be further from the truth. These characteristics often lie at the core of who someone is and how they are wired. Still with me? Time for an example.

In the outer circle, you can find Rob’s hobbies and side activities. This is how he answered the question, “What do you enjoy doing in your free time?” As you can see, Rob is a fan of Formula 1, enjoys mountain biking, likes spending time socialising with fellow sports enthusiasts after a match, and loves being in the Austrian Alps. On Saturdays, he spends many hours supporting his children in their hobbies. What does this say about him as a person?

In the innermost layer of the circle, you will find his answer to the question, “What does this say about you?” By looking at and unpacking his hobbies, Rob arrives at a deeper inner layer of his personality.

I encourage you to try this exercise yourself and work from the outside in. Be intentional about which aspects of yourself you do and do not want to show during your training sessions, and how you choose to bring them forward. I also recommend linking these traits to the story you want to tell or the point you want to make. 

We are working with three elements:

1. What is the message of your story? In other words, the content. For example: leaders are visionary, decisive, and empathetic.
2. Which personal trait of yours do you want to use and explore? For example: you are a family-oriented person and use the planning of a family holiday as the backbone of your story.
3. What story do you want to tell to connect to the message you want to convey? For example: planning your family’s summer holiday in 2018 and linking it to the question of who took the lead.

Below is an example from a different angle:

• The message: asking for a discount as a customer in exchange for inferior quality is pointless.
• Personality trait: you are a bon vivant who regularly dines at Michelin-star restaurants.
• The story: asking for a discount at a Michelin-star restaurant in exchange for a raw chicken salad.

Your personality, your strength

Which stories are best suited to convey your message? Take some time to explore this and let me know how it goes. You’ve got this.

Bonus tips

• Show different sides of yourself so you can connect with different types of people. If all your examples come from parenting experiences, it may be harder to connect with trainees who do not have children.
• If your personality does not naturally resonate with a trainee, try telling your story from a different perspective. For example, as if it happened to a colleague or a client. This can make it easier for the trainee to relate to the story.
• A strong, practice-based story without an explicit personal element is also perfectly fine at times.